Resting

It's hard to know where to start with this post. I guess the important bits. Isabel slipped away peacefully in her sleep last night. I was with her holding her right hand, and her parents were on the other side of the bed with her left. She was so calm and relaxed and her breathing just slowed and slowed until finally it stopped. This was at about 12:30am this morning. She had the dignified end that she deserved surrounded by people who loved her very, very much.

After so much battling and fighting, the end came very quickly. The nurses put her into bed at 6pm and gave her something to help her sleep. By 9pm, when I came in from putting Arthur through bath and bed, she was sleeping and we all sat with her for the next few hours. I am so glad that her parents and I were able to be there.

That afternoon, she had been sitting up, chatting to her brother and sister-in-law, even giving Arthur his banana at 3pm or so. She fought so bravely until the the end and then left us in the manner she wanted.

I think back to how she was when she arrived at Prospect Hospice, all those 6 weeks ago or so. It didn't seem likely that she would last a couple of weeks, let alone the time that she did. She had a good quality of life - being able to first of all have the mummy express, (carrying Arthur around in her wheelchair), then watching and listening to him play, and then, finally, giving him his banana. I think of all the events that she enjoyed in the Hospice - our second Anniversary, Mothers' Day, Arthur's birthday, Easter...

The world has lost someone very precious today. Isabel is now resting in peace.

333, 222

3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food. Isabel has now gone six weeks without food in the Hospice, plus whatever it was in hospital barely eating. Since the penultimate day in Italy, (19th Feb), she really hasn't eaten. Amazing!!! That said, she is understandably very weak and goes through stages of exhaustion and un-comfortableness. She's still making it to the cafe to feed Arthur and can watch him play in the play area of the Hospice.

The original diagnosis, when we finally actually got it, was 2 years. That was on May twelfth last year. Isabel is now probably looking at 2 weeks - maybe up to four weeks - left. Then there will be 2 of us....

Update 17th April

Every day it seems like Isabel is amazingly getting thinner in some way. She is constantly exhausted now and has started being sick again despite her nose tube. Moving from chair to chair is increasingly difficult and she needs help doing everything physical. Isabel is still making the effort to come and give Arthur his lunch and watch him play in the playroom.

Birthday!!!

Isabel made it to Arthur's first birthday!!! She was delighted to open some presents quietly with him in the morning and then rest up a bit - with her brother Owen - until party time at 3pm. She was able to stay for the whole party and loved meeting everyone though we were all a bit tired by the end of the day. Arthur looked immense in his new outfit - love the bow tie - and got soooo many lovely presents, (and amazingly no repeats!).

More pictures HERE

Anniversary

Isabel and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary last Monday, (31st March). It's a funny thing to do an event like this and know it will be your last so mixed emotions; wanted to make the night so special and enjoy it so much, with sadness that we will not share a third wedding anniversary - stuck on Paper then! I made Isabel a poem, written in proper ink and framed, while Isabel used some of her sick pay to buy Arthur and me a piano which fits in brilliantly in the living room. (The paper bit is the music!!!).

I arranged for the chef at Prospect to cook us a meal, but it ended up really being cooked for me. A delicious tomato soup was followed by rib eye steak, with vanilla ice cream for pud! A bottle of Freixneut accompanied the meal, (which Isabel is not sucking up through her nose in the picture below!!!!)

Update - 9th April

It's been a little while since my last update but that is because not much has been going on. Isabel has, until yesterday, maintained her good spirits, been able to watch Arthur play in the playroom and give him his lunch, snack and fruit.

However, yesterday there was a shift in how she is getting on. She is constantly exhausted and finds getting out of bed / chair / wheelchair very difficult. She is very thin and increasingly feeling uncomfortable. At least she is not being sick due to the tube down her nose... There is a suspected clot in her leg and the doctors have prescribed a blood thinning injection!

We have Arthur's first birthday to look forward to on Saturday. The party is taking place in the hospice with lots of people coming. Arthur has a wonderful outfit to wear courtesy of Mike and Chris - even with a bow tie, (they really are cool!!!).

Arthur's new nanny took him out to a farm the other day and brought back his very first piece of "craft" - a cut out Easter chicken with Arthur's decorations on it... very sweet!