I went to visit Isabel's grave today. As I walked down to the grave, the sun broke through the clouds and shone brightly over the gravestones. As I was there, a magnificent rainbow appeared behind me, above our engagement hill. I think it meant that Isabel was pleased to see me and happy with the funeral service.
For the record, here is a list of the items scattered about the church at Isabel's service.
1) Red Jacket. Isabel would very rarely be outside without her red jacket on. We did so many walks with her wearing it!
2) Bottle of Freixneut. We had a bottle of Freixneut in our room when we arrived in the hotel in Madeira on honeymoon. We bought a few more later on in the week! The day before Isabel knew that Arthur was on his way, we had cycled to the Olympic rowing at Dorney lake and back again. In the evening, we drank a bottle of Freixneut and ate pizza. We should have guessed something was up when Isabel ate a whole LARGE pizza!!!
3) Black Hood Scarf. I brought this for Isabel for the first Christmas we were together. She wore it so much!
4) Lamby, (toy lamb). If you looked really closely, you would see that Lamby was wearing socks saying "I love my Mummy". This was a toy that Isabel bought for Arthur while in Mothercare. It was a toy that Arthur really seemed to go for in the shop. Isabel had it with her in the hospice.
5) Walking Boots. We met walking in Newbury and did many walks subsequently. A particular favourite of mine was scaling the Quantocks on New Year's Day 2012 - the beginning of a magical year!
6) Phonics book. Isabel is very keen for Arthur to know his phonics! She also loved teaching them.
7) Large Knitting Needles. Probably the hardest to spot above the picture. With these needles, Isabel knitted my big blue loop scarf . She also starting knitting a number of items for Arthur and me whilst undergoing chemotherapy. I may learn to knit so I can finish a couple of them...
8) Keep Calm and Keep Pedalling T-Shirt. Something I bought for Isabel, symbolising our love of mountain biking on the Ridgeway. Isabel wasn't always the most stable and kept falling off!!!
9) Bike Helmet. Needed for all those times Isabel did fall off!
10) Claude, the French Puppet. Isabel loved teaching everything, including French at Pinewood! This puppet came in handy!!!
11) Badminton Racket. Badminton was something Isabel loved playing. We always joked around wondering who would win if we played. We never did play, but I reckon Isabel's skill would outdo my height and power!!!
12) Euphonium. Isabel started to learn how to play the Euphonium when visiting Pinewood when I lived in the cottage on-site and worked Saturday morning. During the Summer when we first met, she came to watch a number of performances by the Sandhurst Community Brass Band.
13) Yellow Scarf. One of Isabel's many scarves!
14) Teapot. Symbolising Isabel's love of afternoon tea and cake!
15) Purple Hat. Again, something Isabel would wear out and about. She had many hats, but this is one of my favourites!
Let me know how many you spotted, or would like to know where any were hidden!!!
Tuesday 6 May 2014
Monday 5 May 2014
Monday 28 April 2014
Resting
It's hard to know where to start with this post. I guess the important bits. Isabel slipped away peacefully in her sleep last night. I was with her holding her right hand, and her parents were on the other side of the bed with her left. She was so calm and relaxed and her breathing just slowed and slowed until finally it stopped. This was at about 12:30am this morning. She had the dignified end that she deserved surrounded by people who loved her very, very much.
After so much battling and fighting, the end came very quickly. The nurses put her into bed at 6pm and gave her something to help her sleep. By 9pm, when I came in from putting Arthur through bath and bed, she was sleeping and we all sat with her for the next few hours. I am so glad that her parents and I were able to be there.
That afternoon, she had been sitting up, chatting to her brother and sister-in-law, even giving Arthur his banana at 3pm or so. She fought so bravely until the the end and then left us in the manner she wanted.
I think back to how she was when she arrived at Prospect Hospice, all those 6 weeks ago or so. It didn't seem likely that she would last a couple of weeks, let alone the time that she did. She had a good quality of life - being able to first of all have the mummy express, (carrying Arthur around in her wheelchair), then watching and listening to him play, and then, finally, giving him his banana. I think of all the events that she enjoyed in the Hospice - our second Anniversary, Mothers' Day, Arthur's birthday, Easter...
The world has lost someone very precious today. Isabel is now resting in peace.
After so much battling and fighting, the end came very quickly. The nurses put her into bed at 6pm and gave her something to help her sleep. By 9pm, when I came in from putting Arthur through bath and bed, she was sleeping and we all sat with her for the next few hours. I am so glad that her parents and I were able to be there.
That afternoon, she had been sitting up, chatting to her brother and sister-in-law, even giving Arthur his banana at 3pm or so. She fought so bravely until the the end and then left us in the manner she wanted.
I think back to how she was when she arrived at Prospect Hospice, all those 6 weeks ago or so. It didn't seem likely that she would last a couple of weeks, let alone the time that she did. She had a good quality of life - being able to first of all have the mummy express, (carrying Arthur around in her wheelchair), then watching and listening to him play, and then, finally, giving him his banana. I think of all the events that she enjoyed in the Hospice - our second Anniversary, Mothers' Day, Arthur's birthday, Easter...
The world has lost someone very precious today. Isabel is now resting in peace.
Thursday 24 April 2014
333, 222
3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food. Isabel has now gone six weeks without food in the Hospice, plus whatever it was in hospital barely eating. Since the penultimate day in Italy, (19th Feb), she really hasn't eaten. Amazing!!! That said, she is understandably very weak and goes through stages of exhaustion and un-comfortableness. She's still making it to the cafe to feed Arthur and can watch him play in the play area of the Hospice.
The original diagnosis, when we finally actually got it, was 2 years. That was on May twelfth last year. Isabel is now probably looking at 2 weeks - maybe up to four weeks - left. Then there will be 2 of us....
The original diagnosis, when we finally actually got it, was 2 years. That was on May twelfth last year. Isabel is now probably looking at 2 weeks - maybe up to four weeks - left. Then there will be 2 of us....
Wednesday 16 April 2014
Update 17th April
Every day it seems like Isabel is amazingly getting thinner in some way. She is constantly exhausted now and has started being sick again despite her nose tube. Moving from chair to chair is increasingly difficult and she needs help doing everything physical. Isabel is still making the effort to come and give Arthur his lunch and watch him play in the playroom.
Birthday!!!
Isabel made it to Arthur's first birthday!!! She was delighted to open some presents quietly with him in the morning and then rest up a bit - with her brother Owen - until party time at 3pm. She was able to stay for the whole party and loved meeting everyone though we were all a bit tired by the end of the day. Arthur looked immense in his new outfit - love the bow tie - and got soooo many lovely presents, (and amazingly no repeats!).
More pictures HERE
Wednesday 9 April 2014
Anniversary
Isabel and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary last Monday, (31st March). It's a funny thing to do an event like this and know it will be your last so mixed emotions; wanted to make the night so special and enjoy it so much, with sadness that we will not share a third wedding anniversary - stuck on Paper then! I made Isabel a poem, written in proper ink and framed, while Isabel used some of her sick pay to buy Arthur and me a piano which fits in brilliantly in the living room. (The paper bit is the music!!!).
I arranged for the chef at Prospect to cook us a meal, but it ended up really being cooked for me. A delicious tomato soup was followed by rib eye steak, with vanilla ice cream for pud! A bottle of Freixneut accompanied the meal, (which Isabel is not sucking up through her nose in the picture below!!!!)
I arranged for the chef at Prospect to cook us a meal, but it ended up really being cooked for me. A delicious tomato soup was followed by rib eye steak, with vanilla ice cream for pud! A bottle of Freixneut accompanied the meal, (which Isabel is not sucking up through her nose in the picture below!!!!)
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